Between accountability and neglect
Between having people calling/"bugging" you from time to time when you don't appear (especially for a while) and everyone just letting you do what you wish, with hindsight I'd always prefer the former.
It sucks when you realize people have forgotten about you after not turning up for a while, really. Makes it really difficult to come back when you're "ready" to afterwards. And conversely, it really helps to know when you know that you're still in people's radars all this while...
So do put up with the "bugging" when it comes, don't think it's possible to show concern other than asking why you didn't turn up 
A bad kind of cognitive dissonance reduction
Started thinking again about the cognitive dissonance regarding the things that happened regarding a particular family member over the past couple of years.
Though it can be said that the immense pain has largely gone, the problem is that the situation had not improved at all, which leaves us with that the expectations had changed greatly.
It could have been that deep down I no longer view that person as family, or even someone I know. The obligatory meetings and fulfillment of duties had become nothing more than just going through the motion of things, simply because they don't mean anything anymore.
I think a part of me died over this two years, and it's showing in certain other way(s). Don't think this is good...
Spam comment FAIL
Found this gem in my wordpress spam comment queue.
I really wanted to approve this spam comment just so that I can respond to it