...finally only starting to change back in various ways.

But what had regressed over a few years will definitely take some time to reverse.

Am still getting more and more aware of the problems I had caused over the years, for that I'm really sorry.

One primary thing was to stop looking out for the needs of those around, rather, just turning to focus on my own problems only.

Things will take time to reverse, so do be patient with me in the meantime please, and pray with me too thanks.

One thing that strikes me now as I study and think things over is this: if these things are an implication of what the Cross had achieved for us all, then what does my difference in thoughts/actions speak about what I truly believe?

Not that doing/thinking things like this would save us, but there's a certain manner to live if we've come to realize and accept the gravity of the situation we were in, and how great the gift that plucked us from the jaws of death.

Have a lot to change...and would need all the help (from God and those around me) I can get to remember daily...and act accordingly.

-----

Hi all,

Just a sharing from a book I'm reading - The Ordinary Hero by Tim Chester. Basically it's a book about how the knowledge of Christ's death and resurrection should have what kind of implications for us as Christians.

And indeed, it has heaps of implications. As I hit chapter 5 of the book, I arrive at the part where he talks about how the practice of the cross is self-sacrificial.

I think we have been grounded well in doctrine about how true it is, that as Christians, we must love, we must self-sacrifice. And we all know that it is not to earn God's favor, but it is indeed out of a response of God's grace. But as I read this chapter, I am so struck and convicted at my own failings and many failings of the modern day Christian, especially as Christians in Singapore. And hence I'm inspired to share my thoughts with you, and hope it serves as an encouragement, or exhortation, or rebuke to ourselves.

Consider this verse that we know very well but practice very poorly: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23). Over here, our Lord is not giving us an option... ohh if you have time hor, please take up the cross and follow me. He says, and powerfully commands - 1) deny himself, 2) take up his cross daily, 3) follow Jesus. It's a daily sacrifice.

Everyday we live, we do not live for ourselves. We were dead in our sins but made alive in Christ. We are only alive because of Christ. Does this truth not drive us to our knees and thank God for the cross? Should we not repent of our own selfish desires? Should we not stop living for ourselves but sacrifice every ounce of our breath for Him? Shall we not deny our rights? Shall we continue to be complacent and continue to take our Lord's grace for granted, and to take our Lord's commands as a way of living?

Consider Peter who according to tradition was crucified upside down. Consider Stephen who in Acts 7, for the sake of the gospel was stoned. Consider Paul who was 'being poured out like a drink offering' (Philippians 1:29-30), and often calls himself a slave to Christ... consider our Lord who for our sake, our sins, was whipped, lashed, crucified... bore the Father's wrath, the punishment that was meant for us?

When we follow Jesus, that is the way of the cross. To death. God's invitation card states: "Death to Self". No I'm not suddenly radical! Today we thank God we don't get martyred in Singapore. But, how that might have been a better way to die for God. Rather than we live each day, with the contempt for God's grace slowly rotting away our hearts. But though we do not face martyrdom, in Singapore we face different challenges, temptations, distractions, and so we must seriously reconsider our perspectives, our decisions, our priorities.

For what is more important? Since we have decided to follow Him, so why do we still continue to choose other things above our Lord in everyday of our lives? Why can't we deny self? Why do we still choose to linger in bed for that extra minute? Why do we choose to leave home at 5 mins before church, or bible study? Why do we choose to place other fun and less important things as priority over God and serving His church, the church that He broke His body for? Why do we not sacrifice our time and energy out of love for God and others? Why do we still fight over things which are so insignificant in light of the hope in heaven? Why do we not forfeit our right to be angry? Why can't we forgive? Why can't we love each other the way God has commanded us to do...?

What is it that we still cannot let go? I realize that the more you love something and cannot let go of it, the more you must deny yourself from it and submit it to God. We must deny ourselves daily. We must put Christ in front of us, and serve Him daily. This sacrifice, this is the way of the cross.

Cheers,
Anonymous

All who who declare that "Jesus is Lord!" has the Spirit in them.  And it is the Spirit that gives different gifts to different believers as he pleases (hence the term spiritual gifts).  These gifts could also be used outside the church (e.g. skills, character), but they are primarily meant to be exercised for the common good of the church.  Since the source and goal of the gifts are the same for all, the gifts do not determine the value of every individual believer.

Within the church every believer is put in a different position within the church for different functions, just as the body has different parts with different functions.  Every part within the body is important, likewise, every believer within the church is important.  And like the body where every members' suffering and wellbeing is linked with each other, the members of the church are also supposed to be where one rejoices, everyone rejoices together, and vice versa.

The point of the God-given gift(s) cannot be for the pride/glory of the individual, but rather it must always be seen as something to be used for the good of the whole family, and that each person has his/her equally important place within the whole.

There was a time where we had the privilege of having good Christian role models in our lives: seeing and experiencing how the good life was done, being encouraged, being made accountable to someone older and more mature in the faith, having an ever deeper understand of scripture with bible study done in a context that guarantees more attention than in a group context.  All these in the accountability and mentor-ship of regular one-to-one meet ups.

For me, that drastically changed when our staff workers were uprooted from the Christian Fellowship.  It was a tumultuous time for all of us student leaders, and that kind of mentor-ship simply disappeared: there's no one around who could/would take up that role to that level as the full-time staff-workers did.

The second great change came when the remaining ex-staff-worker who was in our church left with his family to Australia for theological studies.  It's a good thing.  But as a result, I was suddenly left with the immense responsibility of taking over leadership of the youth group in his place, be it implicit or hinted at.  That meant that the last solid source of accountability for me was gone, the second big blow.

What happened after which is something that no self-respecting blogger would want to write in his/her domain: I simply ran from my responsibilities and abandoned the youths.  I didn't physically leave them, but I simply did nothing at all to discharge my responsibilities to this church/group, allowing it to die off slowly right in front of my blinded eyes.  Whilst there was good that came from it (the older guys/girls stood up after a while to take lead and control the situation, and I'm really proud of them till today), this also serves as a painful reminder of my failings too, till today.

The Tioman trip where I took my Open Water Diver course probably was one of the great turning points for me in this aspect: seeing how even in a "secular" trip context, people like Seating were still fiercely seeking to read the Word almost entirely thoughout the trip, how the whole group showed love to the new friends we met, how P Tai opened up the ground eventually by asking them about the more serious matters whilst still showing great and genuine concern, how the guys all generally did a good job at establishing relationships with the new friends too, how our dear brother JY provided medical help when I started going down with fever before the c.pox outbreak (I ate a hell lot of Panadol I think)...the list goes on, but hopefully this captures the geist of it.

It's way past time to grow up, and move on.

At least I/we have had the great priviledge of having gone under a mentor-ship for a while, where most people probably have no idea what it would have been like to be Timothy under Paul's care.

Even if there's a lack of people to be mentors in here, there definitely are people who NEED to be mentored still.

Even if the same-gender peer accountability amongst isn't very much there like before, even that might be changing soon for the better.  If not, it probably would be hard to find someone though, abandoning the church for the past few years certainly does have its consequence in drifting away from the peers group in general.

The chance to carry on what I abandoned is still there, thank God.  But I have to be serious about doing it right, for their sake.  That's also why I will seriously consider mentoring someone younger as suggested, but I will also need to be prepared to give up my life/time/energy for them.  Nothing less will do.

Words from Paul the Apostle, quoted by a fellow sister in the work: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth."

Came up as a summary statement of sorts in the sermon for 1 Cor 8-9. To sharpen the meaning further it probably could be "The right to do something does not necessarily mean that doing it is good for others", but that certainly isn't as memorable

It is a tough thing to do, alright.

Though some of the problems remain, it is not true that time is necessary to solve them. Some problems take more than just time to be resolved. In fact, other issues start to creep in from "stopping" for extended periods of time.

No teacher today will ever be able to boast a perfect life (on a clear conscience), but it is important to change ways and thoughts that are wrong as they encounter the Word for themselves.

Some goals that are set for the short and long term:
- to turn back to being serious about understanding what God has to say via Scriptures.
- to take repentance seriously. Hearing but not doing doesn't cut it.
- to see how teaching can be done as accurately as possible to what the Author intended. Involves both the bible study, and the living it out and interactions with others too.

May God help me not continue to make a mockery of Jesus' substitutionary death for us.

On a more serious note, we (the group) made new friends, and I was really very encouraged seeing how the fellow brothers and sisters acted, and talked in such a setting.  Changes will have to be made by me personally too..

Recovered mostly from the chicken pox that appeared on the last day of the trip (started to run fevers and whatnot on the trip back to SG), though will need a few more days to be "presentable" enough to get out of the house again..  A good extended break in a way, though I think my colleagues don't agree with that point necessarily!

Can't wait to get back to work, and to restart in certain areas of my life.