Where to start from?
There's so much to change at this point, learning from the book of James at the church camp, and would be so for the rest of our lives here...
Where to start from in changing/repentance? Perhaps a genuine attitude towards the "mirror", constantly going back to testing myself against it would be a good place to start.
For those who still read this, and are able to, do help me/each other with this ok?
James 1:22-25
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
Band Music
It's pretty enjoyable when a band/team plays music well 
even more so after especially difficult and gruelling practises.
Always felt that the skill of listening whilst playing can never be learnt/practised when playing alone, though it has to be exercised consciously.
That said, "perfect" playing is not the be all and end all for congregational use, though it's not something to be taken as unimportant altogether in serving.
Between accountability and neglect
Between having people calling/"bugging" you from time to time when you don't appear (especially for a while) and everyone just letting you do what you wish, with hindsight I'd always prefer the former.
It sucks when you realize people have forgotten about you after not turning up for a while, really. Makes it really difficult to come back when you're "ready" to afterwards. And conversely, it really helps to know when you know that you're still in people's radars all this while...
So do put up with the "bugging" when it comes, don't think it's possible to show concern other than asking why you didn't turn up