Before and After you join a company
Saw this at Biggy Heady, too funny not to share 
Translated loosely from a Chinese blog post (http://drjimdiary.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-post.html)
Before you join the company …
Boss: Welcome! Office without you sure will looks different!
Employee: If I am too tired working, I may just quit.
Boss: Don’t worry about that, I won’t let it happens.
Employee: Can I rest on weekends?
Boss: Of coz! That’s the bottom line of our company policy.
Employee: Do we need to OT till midnight?
Boss: No way, Who told you that?
Employee: Do we have meal allowance?
Boss: Needless to say, its definitely higher than other companies.
Employee: Is it possible that I will work till death?
Boss: No, why are you thinking in that way?
Employee: Will the company organize overseas trip for us?
Boss: It’s part of our company policy!
Employee: Do I need to come to work on time?
Boss: No, it depends.
Employee: How about salary, always paid on time?
Boss: Always!
Employee: Will the new hire got to do all the jobs?
Boss: How can that be possible? There are many seniors staff above you.
Employee: Will I get a chance if there is vacancy for management position?
Boss: No question about it, that’s how the company survived.
Employee: You are not lying to me are you?
After you join the company, just read in reverse order …
The Ultimate Gadget Decision Flowchart
Should I buy that gadget? Should I not?
For all who buy gadgets, geek or not 
(Click on the diagram for the full sized one.)