Translated loosely from a Chinese blog post (http://drjimdiary.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-post.html)

Before you join the company …

Boss: Welcome! Office without you sure will looks different!
Employee: If I am too tired working, I may just quit.
Boss: Don’t worry about that, I won’t let it happens.
Employee: Can I rest on weekends?
Boss: Of coz! That’s the bottom line of our company policy.
Employee: Do we need to OT till midnight?
Boss: No way, Who told you that?
Employee: Do we have meal allowance?
Boss: Needless to say, its definitely higher than other companies.
Employee: Is it possible that I will work till death?
Boss: No, why are you thinking in that way?
Employee: Will the company organize overseas trip for us?
Boss: It’s part of our company policy!
Employee: Do I need to come to work on time?
Boss: No, it depends.
Employee: How about salary, always paid on time?
Boss: Always!
Employee: Will the new hire got to do all the jobs?
Boss: How can that be possible? There are many seniors staff above you.
Employee: Will I get a chance if there is vacancy for management position?
Boss: No question about it, that’s how the company survived.
Employee: You are not lying to me are you?

After you join the company, just read in reverse order …

The horsey is infected!

Should I buy that gadget? Should I not?

For all who buy gadgets, geek or not

(Click on the diagram for the full sized one.)

(via Alltop, BuzzFeed)

1. Just because you moved something from being a GET parameter to a POST parameter so I couldn’t see it in the URL bar doesn’t mean that I don’t know it is there. And it also doesn’t mean I can’t change it. (Download WebScarab if you disagree)

2. Just because you put something in a hidden FORM parameter doesn’t mean I can’t find it. Or change it. See #1.

3. Ditto for cookies. See #1.

4. Validating things on the client side with JavaScript doesn’t prevent me from submitting whatever the heck I want.

5. I love it when you say “That would never happen in production.”

6. I really love it when you say “An attacker would never do that.”

7. I really hate strong server side input validation.

8. That page with the detailed error message – my job would be way harder without it.

9. Most of those “Guaranteed Secure!” banners you put on your site only serve to tell me you don’t understand the first thing about security.

10. That web application scanner you ran – it didn’t find everything. Not even close.

11. That network scanner you ran – it didn’t even start testing the security of your application.

12. I understand AJAX (or fancy, new technology “XYZ”) better than you do.

13. The more clever you think you are – the better I feel.

Oh yeah, another of her pictures that we found absolutely crazy was this Ratatouille poster photoshopped with her face on it.  Try not to laugh too loud heh.

*Edit: She has a rap about herself too! (via @kitschma)

Apparently the original was from here.